Feelings that I can’t speak of !

I do not know what am I gonna write but I surely want this feeling to go away as quickly as possible.

I am feeling that no matter how good my intentions are or my intentions of how good others should feel about themselves just doesn’t matter in today’s world.
I am constantly trying to stay positive about everything in life but today’s demanding situations and people are enough to make me feel less worthy and full of shit.
I know how stupid it is and how these things don’t really matter but money is the scale for success and happiness is just a thing for people which ain’t that important if you have a shit load of money in your pocket.

Your relatives, your friends, and even your life partner will respect you only when you are providing them. The day you stop and started focusing on yourself, you are all alone because dude, you have responsibilities.
People who have responsibilities die of heart stroke. Freedom is a state, financial freedom is a necessity, and people who have are the only people who are respected by society. Others are just gonna sucked by the oblivion.

Growing up we all feel that life will get better, just one last exam, just another experience, just another risk, and boom. While running all these years, you forget that living is also a thing which is not meant for everyone. Those luxurious resorts, foreign trips, beautiful mountains, and deep blue sea were meant for you to see in photos and not in real life.
But no wonder how you grow, you are bound to get married, to have children, to raise them to feel as miserable as you were, are, and will be, is simply normal. It is how our society works.

Seeking the meaning of life, learning the truth about ourselves, exploring the world, learning new things every day, making failure as important as success is only good for the books because in real life not everyone deserves to be a part of the book, and those who do, don’t belong to the society.
People who are famous are being chased by every person on the planet and people who are trying to be famous are being chased and haunted by their own fear and anxiety. Shah Rukh Khan doesn’t care if people love him or hate him, comment good things or bad things about him, but the person who sits next to you might have an ego of sun, and once you say a bad word against him, he might find a dagger and stick it in your gut. That’s how we really are. We aim for the moon but we are not allowed by our own righteousness to be better than what we were yesterday.

The family constantly speaks about society and its remarks on you even before you take your first step but will also constantly poke you to do something in life.
Sometimes, being alone and left out seems to be the only solution as then there is no one to judge you or no one to support you. So, if you are not judged you will try whatever you want to do and if you are not supported, you will either pass or fail. If you passed it is good, but if you fail it is definitely better because now you can do something else or try the same thing differently.
Growing up was meant to be a process of learning and experiencing but how can one grow or experience in the same pattern of life. If every human is different then why the same track for all of them.

Everything is changing with time but people are still accepting that old method of studying, the same bookish knowledge that is hardly relevant to the outside world. A 3rd class student is as stressed as a regular employee as both of them are achieving targets set by others.
We all want something from someone and cry it loud when someone does not fulfill our expectations. We have hardly seen someone fulfilling our wishes in one go. Or hardly we do such miracles on our own. So why do we expect from others when we are not ready to do something like that. Do we own them? Or it’s just your brain wants you to act like that?
TBH, nobody owes you anything. But even if someone does something for you, it’s just that they have a big heart. So, do something good for them too instead of taking them for granted.

Life is a million little things but it is mostly evaluated by how much money or real estate you have!
So, let it be. No one can change no one. But you can always have that positive energy and happiness to light up your surroundings. Keep pushing yourself and smile till you’re awake.

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